How to beat me in the Mormon Lit Blitz

Friends of AMV: you have a singular opportunity facing you — the chance to increase my currently dangerously low levels of humility by beating me soundly in the Mormon Lit Blitz. Mormon Artist is hosting the contest this year. See all the details in the Call for Submissions.

I already have my story written. I’m feeling quite confident about it. That feeling must not stand. Really, you’ll be doing me a favor by entering.


All you need to do is find 4 hours between now and May 31. You could probably even do it in 3, depending on how fast you can write your rough draft. Here’s how:

  1. Spend 45 minutes coming up with ideas. Remember that you aren’t limited to flash fiction — poetry, comics, plays are all welcome. These 45 minutes don’t even have to be in a row. They can happen in the shower or as you’re driving or folding laundry. Just make sure you have something close to capture your ideas.
  2. Spend 2 hours (also don’t need to be in a row) writing your first draft.
  3. Spend 1 hour revising. It really doesn’t take long to revise 1,000 words (or less).
  4. Spend 15 minutes copyediting and then format and submit.


Have no idea what to write about? Here are some freely offered ideas to get the creative juices flowing:

  • The story of Balaam and his ass, except Baalam is a PR flack, Balak is a CEO, and the ass is an Audi TT.
  • Parley P. Pratt: Vampire Hunter
  • First line: The Bishop’s wife was worried that he was spending so much time on Pinterest.
  • Title: The Laurel Class President’s Lament
  • Comic: Nursery toys/books/activities through the decades
  • A story about a handsome, righteous, well-coiffed commercial pilot for Lufthansa who is inspired to re-route a flight to Istanbul thus avoiding a sudden deadly storm and the political crisis that would have ensued because one of the passengers that would have died is a moderate Turkish general traveling incognito.
  • First line: As far as she knew, Tiffany was the only Mormon female jockey in the world.
  • A pair of sister missionaries is contacted by the manager for a controversial female pop star who was raised Mormon and would like to be taught the discussions (and possibly re-activate).

That should be enough to get you started. Feel free to share more ideas in the comments section. But more importantly: get brainstorming.

12 thoughts on “How to beat me in the Mormon Lit Blitz”

  1. “First line: As far as she knew, Tiffany was the only Mormon female jockey in the world.”

    I’m hoping that stories with this first line become a fad. That way we can call them “jockey shorts.”

  2. There have been some brilliant ideas tossed round the bloggernacle. I’m pretty intimidated. I’m thinking I probably should just applaud from the sidelines this year. Or not….

  3. Note: DON’T BE INTIMIDATED. A lot of people who have won in the past are casual rather than regular writers. You’d be surprised. And you’ll never know unless you try it!

  4. Sent mine! It’s about an asprin that has forgotten how to relieve pain and its ensuing existential crisis. The finale in the stomach will leave you breathless.

  5. Sarah: go for it!

    Mark: let’s just hope the judges won’t be writhen when they read your stories.

    Katherine speaks the truth.

    Steve: I’m surprised. Normally the stuff you write is so inflammatory.

  6. As far as she knew, Tiffany was the only Mormon female jockey in the world. Unfortunately, the thoroughbred she’d been hired to ride was Episcopalian…

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